


The Risk of Failure Tastes Bitter

by Artsybee524



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Andrew and Aaron are trying, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, Kevin has some trouble with food, M/M, Past Child Abuse, im sorry aaron
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-26
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:33:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27718237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Artsybee524/pseuds/Artsybee524
Summary: The only thing Aaron could hear was his unstable breathing, his hands gripping his hair so tight, he was surprised there was no blood yetThe weight of the paper in his hands felt like 5 tons, as he stared at the 48% marked boldly in red.orAaron gets too overwhelmed by everything and finally breaks down
Relationships: Aaron Minyard & Andrew Minyard, Katelyn/Aaron Minyard, Kevin Day/Aaron Minyard, Neil Josten & Aaron Minyard, Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard, Nicky Hemmick/Erik Klose
Comments: 13
Kudos: 114





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> TW for Child Abuse
> 
> I still have 5 assignments to complete but I decided to write this instead :)  
> pls tell me if I made any spelling/grammar mistakes

Aaron couldn't breathe.

The weight of the paper in his hands felt like 5 tons, as he stared at the 48% marked boldly in red.

A familiar sinking feeling entered his stomach, a feeling of disappointment, anger and fear. A feeling he knew all too well. He forced himself to breathe, scorching his eyes at the blank wall instead of the marked paper.

Aaron had failed.

He knew he wasn't the best at physics, but a 48%? Aaron had spent hours and pulled all-nighters studying for this paper, all of that went to waste. His head slowly started ringing of his mother’s words.

....

_His mother’s hand pushed his head down farther into the water, he was gasping trying to make it back to the top._

_“ Aaron you think you’ll ever make it anywhere with those fucking grades huh?” Pulling his head out of the water and gripping his hair with a fierce hand._

_“ Don’t you fucking get it!” she screamed into his ear, he could feel blood form at the top of his scalp._

_“ I had to work my ass off for years to become a nurse, only for me to be fucking fired for doing a bit of cocaine” Mom laughed yet her voice lacked any trace of humour._

_“ Aaron sweetheart, I need you to work hard for me; you're my child you should help provide for me shouldn't you? You want me to love you, don't you? Then I don't wanna see anything that, not an A+ understood?” She cooed at him, changing her grip to slowly slide through his hair gently._

_Mom was always like that, vicious as a tiger ready to strike one moment and the next sweet, motherly and comforting. It was almost impossible to know when she would make that switch, but Aaron liked to think he got quite good at. He had been reading her mannerisms and actions for the past 10 years after all._

_“ Understood?” His mother’s voice slowly turned into steel as her grip began to tighten slightly._

_“ Understood” Aaron repeated with a small smile, his voice still shaky_

_His mother smiled back “ you know I love you, right sweetie? I’m doing this for you”_

_Aaron slowly nodded as his mother brought him in a tight embrace, the ones he always craved from her “ I love you too mom” he replied._

_....._

  
The only thing Aaron could hear was his unstable breathing, his hands gripping his hair so tight, he was surprised there was no blood yet. Tears that he did not allow streamed down his face, as his body started shaking more.

10 minutes of scouring on the ground crying his eyes out, and slowly ripping out his hair Aaron calmed down enough to get up. His mother’s words rang in his years “ Brat stop fucking crying and go do something about it”

Taking a deep breath he quickly opened his laptop to check his schedule. He has a biology test in 2 days, another physics test at the end of the week and a chemistry test in 3 days.

Stress ran down his spine as Aaron remembered all the new material he had to study for all 3 courses. On top of that, they had a stupid practice match with the Trojans, so Kevin and Dan had them working 5x harder determined to beat them.

It was Tuesday, which meant he had fucking therapy with Andrew tomorrow. Aaron supposed he could just skip it to have more study time, not all of them have a crazy memory like Andrew after all.

Aaron felt a long sigh fell out of him, it was going to be a long week. He would be alright tho, he handled much worse right? What could go wrong this time?


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron was at the library almost every day, at this point he has his own spot and could recognize a few familiar faces. 
> 
> A face that he didn’t recognize tho was Kevin fucking Day. 
> 
> Aaron brought a hand through his hair and sighed “ Why are you talking to me, Kevin” 
> 
> I don’t know” Kevin mumbled out softly
> 
> Too soft, To hurt. He never thought he would hear “ the great Kevin day” ever talk like that. He quickly decided he didn’t like it. Not because he cared for Kevin just because. ..well it was weird.

Aaron was surviving off red bull, coffee and pure rage. 

He was angry. Angry at Andrew, angry at Nicky angry at fucking exy, angry at Neil. Angry at himself. 

The Thursday’s afternoon sun gleamed onto him from the library window making his eyes hurt.

The textbook in front of him was giving him a headache, for fucks sake why is physics so complicated. 

Aaron saw Katelyn walk by with another guy, he expected himself to be jealous or angry or anything but nothing happened. 

Both he and Katelyn decided weeks ago that they weren’t ready for a relationship, and she was right. The last thing he needed on top of pre-med, exy, fucking Andrew was another commitment. He loved Katelyn, he really did but even he was self-aware enough to know it would never work. 

When Andrew found out, all he did was raise an eyebrow and say” All of that for nothing huh” 

Aaron couldn’t even respond to that because in a sense Andrew was right no matter how much he hated admitting that, it was all for nothing. 

Aaron was at the library almost every day, at this point he has his own spot and could recognize a few familiar faces. 

A face that he didn’t recognize tho was Kevin fucking Day. 

From where Aaron was sitting he could see Kevin reading the back of a book while scrolling through the shelves. 

Why the fuck was Kevin looking though books, what was he even doing at the library didn’t he practically live at the court. Hell, he didn’t even know Kevin went somewhere that wasn’t exy related, his entire personality was based on exy and alcohol after all. 

Suddenly Kevin turned his head around and stared directly into Aarons’s eyes. For some reason he couldn’t look away, it was like he was being hypnotized. Then out of nowhere Kevin started walking towards him. 

Why was Kevin day walking towards him, Kevin didn’t even talk to him unless it was with a sneer about how he can be a better backliner. 

“ Aaron,” Kevin’s low voice said as a greeting.

“ What do you want” Aaron responded abruptly 

“ You weren’t at practice today,” Kevin said with a familiar sneer on his face.

Aaron rolled his eyes “ some of us have a life besides exy, Kevin.” 

“ Make sure you come today, you’re gonna get worse if you don’t stay on top of practice” Kevin lectured him

“ I promise you, Kevin, I really don’t care,” Aaron said frustration building up in him 

“ Andrew said that too” Kevin replied 

“ I’m not Andrew” Aaron snapped, sick of his twin being brought up in any argument or conversation he had.

Kevin sat down in the chair in front of Aaron “ No you’re not ” he said weirdly soft

Aaron brought a hand through his hair and sighed “ Why are you talking to me, Kevin” 

I don’t know” Kevin mumbled out softly

Too soft, To hurt. He never thought he would hear “ the great Kevin day” ever talk like that. He quickly decided he didn’t like it. Not because he cared for Kevin just because. ..well it was weird. 

Aaron wrinkled his eyebrows “ Why are you reading about Napoleon Bonaparte” sneaking a glance at one of the many books Kevin was holding

Kevin glanced back at his book “ Oh I just saw it and it looked interesting, did you know that apparently, he carried a vial of poison around his neck so he could just-” 

Kevin suddenly stooped in his little ramble, a little flush on his face “ Sorry I know its stupid ill let you study” as he got off the chair and started walking away 

Aaron knew he should let him go and go back to studying, but listening to Kevin ramble on about something stupid was probably the most relaxed he had felt these past couple of days.

“ Why” Aaron suddenly blurted out 

Kevin stopped walking and slowly turned around, his eyes a little wide “ Well come on you can't just give me half of a story and not give me the other half” Aaron said rolling his eyes 

Kevin gave him a little smile and Aarons’s stomach started bubbling just a bit. Kevin rambled on about his story and for a while, Aaron forgot about work or exy or Andrew the only thing he could focus on was the tone of Kevin’s voice. 

From there it was routine, for the past 2 weeks every Thursday he would come into the library to find Kevin sitting right in front of his spot. Sometimes they talked, sometimes they didn’t. The silence isn't awkward if anything it was far from that, it was almost soothing. 

____

55%. 

It wasn’t a fail, but for Aaron, it definitely felt like it. 

Once again physics kicked his fucking ass. 

He tried not to let it bother him, but all he really wanted to do was burst into tears. God, he was pathetic. 

So he pulled a Josten and went through his day like normal. With the anxiety practically rattling in his stomach like an earthquake. 

All Andrew did raise an eyebrow at him when he left his dorm, then turned his attention back to Neil. of fucking course all Andrew cared about was Neil. 

Headed towards the library he was surprised when he saw Kevin at their spot. Then he remembered it was Thursday. Aaron should have walked up to Kevin and told him to fuck of, that he didn’t have time for distractions.

That's what his mother would want him to do, but then he saw Kevin’s soft smile as he saw him come in. The smiles that he only saw on Thursdays, and he didn’t have it in him to tell Kevin to leave. His mother would be disappointed in him if she was here. 

Aaron sat down with a small sigh and opened his textbook ready to study. 

A few moments later Kevin broke the silence. 

“Aaron, are you okay?” Kevin asked, looking up at him with examining judging eyes.    
  


Aaron swallowed down a lump in his throat “ yeah I am” 

“ You look tired like you haven’t slept in a while. You'll do bad at practice if you’re tired,” Kevin said, placing the book he was reading down. 

A few weeks ago Aaron would have snapped, told Kevin that he didn’t give a shit about playing well at practice. But he could recognize now, that's how Kevin asked if people were okay and that he was worried about them, after all, he was brought up his entire life playing exy that’s the only way he knew how to ask. 

He didn’t want to lie to Kevin, for some reason he couldn’t stop himself from blurting out the truth. “ I- I got a bad mark,” he said in a whisper. 

Aaron didn’t know what he was expecting, A shout, a lecture, a disappointing look those were all things he got in the past. What he wasn’t expecting Kevin looking at him with soft eyes and an understanding look on his face. 

“ You tried your best didn’t you, we all mess up sometimes. Besides if it helps I completely flunked my history essay because I accidentally went 1000 words ahead of the word limit” Kevin said running a hand through his hair. 

“ Only you would accidentally go 1000 words over on a history paper '' Aaron snorted, once again Kevin’s company was like a weight of his shoulders, that little ache in his stomach was still there, but he didn’t think that would ever really go away. 

After a few hours at the library, Kevin had told him to go back to his dorms and go to sleep. Aaron did not go to sleep. He couldn’t go to sleep when he knew he could spend that extra time studying. 

He would go to sleep properly after he finally got the hang of physics, besides it wasn’t like he wasn’t sleeping at  _ all.  _ It wouldn’t matter if he got a few hours of sleep then he usually did. 

Aaron sighed as he pushed his textbook near him, both Nicky and Matt were already asleep but luckily for Aaron, they were deep sleepers, and wouldn’t wake up from the small lamp on his desk. He cracked his knuckles ready to get to work. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hfhffejui ik Kevins acting a little weird in this but you'll find out why later. 
> 
> Anyway thanks for reading :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron shifted a little in his seat, taking his eyes off the textbook focusing on Kevin’s face. Kevin looked as he always did, beautiful.

Aaron should eat. 

He was hungry but he couldn’t will himself to leave his textbook. The library was quiet; it was just 2 hours before the library closed for the day, barely anyone was there. 

Aaron sighed and stretched his neck, a strong crack emerging. He could barely even understand what he was reading, it all just came in the same blur to him.

He was too focused on himself and his textbook he didn’t even notice when someone sat in the chair right in front of him. “ How long have you been here,” Kevin’s familiar voice asked, soothing him for reasons he didn’t wanna think about. 

Aaron shifted a little in his seat, taking his eyes off the textbook focusing on Kevin’s face. Kevin looked as he always did, beautiful.

_ No, he doesn’t stop what the fuck _ . He blamed lack of sleep for those outrageous thoughts. “ A while” Aaron finally responded after a solid minute. 

Kevin sighed and stood up, “ come on any longer and you’ll look like Dracula himself”. 

Aaron scowled up at him, all Kevin did was look amused. He quickly packed up his textbooks placing them in his backpack. Only to look up and see Kevin’s hand outstretched. He slowly stretched his hand up wrapping it around Kevins.

_ Huh, a perfect fit.  _ He ignored that thought. Aaron used Kevin’s hand to get up, but now he didn’t wanna let go. Aarons’s heart was thrumming, he wouldn’t be surprised if Kevin could hear it. Aaron should hurry up and let go before he ruined this entire thing and made it weird and awkward. He had a knack for doing that. 

To Aarons’s surprise, Kevin didn’t pull away and just started walking, dragging him from behind. He spotted a little flush on Kevin’s cheek, that's probably because of the cold he told himself. 

“ Hurry up Aaron you walk too slow,” Kevin said looking anywhere but at him. 

“ It's not my fault you’re a giant with long legs” Aaron replied showing him the infamous Minyard glare. 

“ I'm not even that tall you’re just short” Kevin glared right back at him. 

“ Shut up,” Aaron mutterd. 

A hint of amusement flashed in Kevin’s eyes. 

As they stood outside of his dorm Aaron slowly let go of Kevin’s hand, feeling the warmth slip away. Kevin slowly backed away, moving towards his own dorm “ Goodnight Aaron” Kevin’s low voice whispered. 

_______

Aaron for once had gotten a full night's rest, and it would have felt great if there wasn’t a pesky feeling in his stomach making him feel guilty about wasting that much time. 

“ Aaron” Nickys voice whined at him, “ you’re coming to Edens this weekend right?” his cousin looked at him with pleading eyes. 

“ I can't,” Aaron replied with the same answer he'd been giving Nicky for the past few weeks. 

Nicky exhaled a long dramatic sigh, “ Come on, even Kevins going. Kevin drinks himself to death almost every weekend tho so I’m always on babysitting duty”. 

Aaron hated drunk Kevin. He was annoying, rude, bitchy and couldn’t stand on his own two feet. He remembered the way Kevin drowned himself in alcohol every week, he drank way too much rum to be considered normal. Aaron knew better than anyone else why Kevin drank so much, sometimes it's just easier to forget. 

“ Isn’t Andrew supposed to be Kevin’s babysitter” Aaron commented. 

“ Ahh well you know, they haven’t really been the same since all of that” Nicky said awkwardly flaring his hands. 

Aaron had noticed that. Ever since the whole thing at Baltimore, Kevin had started to avoid Andrew. He suspected it had to with Andrew brutally choking him. Aaron could understand why his twin had done that, resorting to violence was almost a reflex for Andrew. Especially when he found out his beloved Neil basically ran headfirst into his own death. It didn’t make it right though. 

  
  


Aaron didn’t know why he cared. He tried to tell himself that he didn’t, but even he could tell that was a blatant lie. Aaron didn’t want Kevin to get piss drunk every weekend, or at all. 

Taking one look at the clock he sighed and got up. He’d already skipped therapy with his brother for the last two weeks. As much as Aaron hated admitting it, he did want to have a good relationship with his brother. It's been something he has been reaching for since he was a child. 

  
  


____

Walking into Bee’s office, he took a seat at his designated spot on the left side of the couch. Andrew was already sitting there crossed legged drinking what was probably his second cup of cocoa. 

“ Well then let's get started shall we,” Bee said with a cheerful smile on her face. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this is more of a filler chapter, but I felt as if it was needed. The next update will definitely be a lot longer with a bit more plot.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron could think of a few logical explanations for this,  
>  a). Lack of water,  
>  b). Lack of food,   
>  c), Lack of sleep or d). A god damn brain tumour.

Therapy with Bee went as great as it usually did, and Aaron was left feeling more frustrated than he originally was. How come  _ he  _ was the one who was always the centre of the sessions, could he not just sit back and listen for once. 

Letting out a large sigh Aaron made his way to practice, He hadn’t been to practice in a while with tests and exams lining up in his schedule. Having a weird friendship thing with Kevin didn’t exactly stop him from pestering him about missing practice, yet he could tell Kevin didn’t mind him missing practice as much as he used to. 

Practice went as it usually did, with Kevin barking around orders and everyone else being a complete annoyance. 

It was loud. Too loud, he didn’t like it. Aaron's’s stomach felt an urge to vomit, yet there was nothing in there to vomit out. Aaron made his way to the bathroom, ignoring Nicky screeching his name. Aaron took some heavy equipment off after retreating to the washroom. He felt lightheaded, the bathroom’s harsh light felt like daggers in his head. 

Aaron could think of a few logical explanations for this, a). Lack of water, b). Lack of food, c), Lack of sleep or d). A god-damn brain tumour. 

The door suddenly screeched open, Aaron turned his head to see Kevin standing beside the door. 

A furrow of wrinkles appeared between his eyebrows as he made his way closer, You look pale, when's the last time you drank water”. Kevin grabbed Aaron's jaw, turning his head towards him. 

“ I'm fine” Aaron grumbled out, If I wanted to hear bullshit I would've gone to Neil'' Kevin replied. Kevin sighed letting go of Aaron, “Go take a nap, it's not like you can practice like this anyway. I’ll come after practice to get you some food”. 

Aaron raised an eyebrow, you’re letting me skip practice that easily, don't you usually give half an hour worth of a lecture”.

“ I’ll give you the lecture when you don't look like you're going to pass out, '' Kevin said as he brushed Aaron's hair out of his eyes. 

‘I’ll look forward to it” Aaron grumbled out. Aaron made his way to his dorm after Kevin had retreated back to practice. 

___________

True to his word Kevin appeared in his dorm after practice, bringing some Chinese take-out with him. 

Thankfully Matt and Nicky were both in the girls' dorm, leaving the entire dorm empty. 

Kevin sighed when he saw him did you even sleep”, I did” Aaron protested. Kevin sat down on Aaron's bed rolling his eyes and handed him a package of food. 

“ Are you sure you're not sick,” Kevin said, putting a hand up to Aaron's forehead. Aaron was going to reply with something but that's before he noticed how close Kevin was to him. 

Kevin's hand left his forehead and made its way down his jaw, before Aaron could comprehend what was happening Kevin leaned forward kissing him gently. Aaron was too shocked to even response.

Kevin quickly stopped when he noticed Aaron freezing in place. A slight flush came on to Kevin's face I'm sorry I shouldn't-” Aaron cut him of by pulling him by his shirt into a much harsher kiss, Kevin quickly responded. After a few minutes they were practically panting as they finally broke apart. Kevin's hand flew up to brush Aaron's hair out of the way. 

“ Hi” Aaron softly whispered, admiring the way Kevin looked. Kevin smiled softly, the type of smile he only did around him Hi” he whispered back.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Aaron?” 
> 
> “Aaron…”
> 
> “Aaron!” Betsy’s voice chimed at him forcing him to get out of his thoughts. He looked up at her, feeling Andrews’s eyes glaring onto him.

They didn’t talk about it. Aaron and Kevin kissed till the sun went down, Kevin only left when they could hear Nicky’s loud voice across the hall from the dorm. 

Aaron couldn’t stop replaying the moment in his head while mindlessly fiddling with the end of his sleeves. His mind was going insane, he wasn’t able to focus on anything today. 

_ “Aaron?”  _

_ “Aaron…” _

“Aaron!” Betsy’s voice chimed at him forcing him to get out of his thoughts. He looked up at her, feeling Andrews’s eyes glaring onto him. 

Bee sighed softly "You’ve been quite distracted today haven’t you?”, Aaron replied with a shrug. 

“ Is there something on your mind you would like to talk about?” Bee questioned, "No,” Aaron said plainly.

“ Alright, why don’t we save the rest of this conversation for next Wednesday '' Bee said, Aaron took it as a dismissal he grabbed his bag and made his way out. 

_________________________

Practice went as it always did, but with Kevin missing a few more shots than normal. Aaron and Kevin ignored each other like they usually did in practice, their eyes never meeting once. 

“ Kevin where’s your head at” Neil barked out when Kevin missed another shot. 

“ Sorry” Kevin muttered out.

—————

Aaron and Kevin haven’t talked since last night, and Aaron was sick of waiting for Kevin to come forward. 

Aaron walked over to Kevin’s dorm, hoping that Andrew and Neil weren’t present. Aaron’s eyes widen as he saw Kevin across the hall, most likely heading towards his dorm. 

Aaron walked closer, his steps a little faster. Before his brain even caught up to what he was doing he had pulled Kevin down from his shirt and was kissing him senseless. 

Kevin pulled back first “ I thought you were straight”, “ well I never said I was straight” Aaron replied breathlessly. 

Aaron had come to terms he was bisexual a long time ago. He just thought he could ignore that part of himself; he's always liked girls a bit better anyway. 

“ What about you?” Aaron asked resting his head on Kevin’s shoulder, “Well I never said I was straight ” Kevin said with a smirk. 

“ So… what now?”, 

“ Andrews going to murder me” Kevin answered. “ He won’t  _ murder  _ you, besides the deals over anyway” Aaron added 

“ I don't think that’s going to stop him, besides it’s not like he hasn’t tried to kill me before,” Kevin said quietly. 

Aaron looked up at Kevin stretching his neck up, "He shouldn’t have done that”, Kevin shrugged as a reply. “ I know my brother, well kind of, I know he’s probably feeling guilty about it, but he’s not going to bring it up unless you do” Aaron stated.

“ I know, just… not today” Kevin responded, Aaron, nodded in reply.

“ Well, what do you want to do today then?” Aaron asked with a mischievous glint in his eyes. “ Neil and Andrew are out on a drive, we should have around 2 hours until they come back” Kevin answered. 

“ Ya that should be enough time to watch a movie,” Aaron said with a small smile on his face. Aaron let out a giggle at Kevin’s shocked face “ what else were you thinking?” Aaron teased. 

“I’ll kill you,” Kevin said bluntly, "you have to catch me first,” Aaron said as he opened Kevin’s dorm room and hopped on his bed, Kevin following closely behind. 

They could deal with everything else later, right now the only thing Aaron was focused on was Kevin’s lips.

  
  
  
  
  
  


  
  


  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, yes I'm finally back :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “ You’ve been a bit… out of it these past few weeks, is everything alright?” Bee questioned, Aaron nodded in response “ yeah just distracted I guess”. 
> 
> Bee had brought up this topic a few times already, Aaron found a way to always brush it off and postpone that conversation. Somehow he could tell that Bee wasn’t going to postpone the topic today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW// Child Abuse

“Aaron” Kevin whined, nipping at Aarons’s neck. “ Kevin I need to study” Aaron replied with a tired sigh. 

**“** That’s all you’ve been doing these days you’re gonna burn yourself out,” Kevin said with a worried expression on his face. 

Aaron got up from his desk and turned around to face Kevin, lightly pecking him on the lips. “ I’ll be fine, dont worry” 

Kevin pulled Aaron by the waist pulling him in for a deep kiss, that quickly got heated. Aaron pulled away and hid his face in Kevin’s chest, “ I have therapy with Andrew in like 15 minutes” 

“ I can work with that” Kevin said, Aaron pulled him down for another heated kiss “ fine but make it quick”. 

_________

Aaron walked into Bee’s office, Andrew already sitting on the couch mixing his hot chocolate. Aaron sat down on the other side of the coach on his usual spot feeling Andrews gaze on him. 

Aaron turned his head to Andrew when he felt his gaze a little too bearing. Andrew raised an eyebrow, “ who was that” Andrew said plainly his gaze travelling down to Aaron’s neck. 

Aaron’s hand automatically went near his neck, damn it he told Kevin not to leave marks but he was seriously a biter. Aaron had reddish-purple marks all over his body. Aaron scowled back at Andrew “none of your business” The deal was over, Andrew wasn’t allowed to care about what Aaron did with who in his free time 

“ Now that you both are here, let’s get started,” Bee said with a smile. 

They started talking about mindless small talk, it was routine at this point to start with the small things before getting into the tough bits. Aaron didn’t participate much through it, he just sat there tuning the conversation out. 

“ Aaron” Bee said softly, “hmm” Aaron hummed as a response. 

“ You’ve been a bit… out of it these past few weeks, is everything alright?” Bee questioned, Aaron nodded in response “yeah just distracted I guess”. 

Bee had brought up this topic a few times already, Aaron found a way to always brush it off and postpone that conversation. Somehow he could tell that Bee wasn’t going to postpone the topic today. 

Bee sat back in her chair, twiddling with her pen “how has school been, pre-med can’t be too easy” Aaron’s eyes travelled down to stare at his shoes, a common thing he did eye contact was always hard for him.

Aaron tensed his jaw, his brain had been so distracted thinking about Kevin 24/7 he almost forgot to worry and stress about his grades. This simple question Bee asked suddenly brought all the worry and stress back. 

He had an 85% average right now and somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew he wasn’t that bad of a grade. But all his brain could think of is how mad his mother would be, how disappointed his mother would be. Not to even mention how bad his physics mark is, he had gone better at physics his average turning from a 70% to an 80%, but it still wasn’t good enough. 

Shit, he had been quiet for too long. 

Aaron swallowed which was weirdly hard to do “I-”, he tried to come up with a response but all he could think of was how bad his mother would have punished him if she was still alive.

Tilda didn’t care if it was a 70% or a 40%, they were both a fail in her books, so the punishment was never easier if it was a higher mark. 

One time she drowned him, the other time threw a beer bottle at him, or she hit him until he was black and blue all over. Aaron remembered trying to hide his bad marks in high school, but the school emailed all the parents when they gave the students their report cards.

Aaron remembered the year he hid all his tests from Tilda, but when the report card came and Tilda snatched it out of his hands… it was bad. It was possibly the worst she had even done to him, she screamed at him for hours. 

Tilda was a lot of things, but she wasn’t dumb, even under all that influence she was still weirdly smart. She knew the entire time that Aaron was keeping things from her, she just waited till the end, so she could take it all out at once. 

Aaron never hid anything from her again. 

“Aaron” Bee’s voice chimed, suddenly pulling him out of his thoughts. Aaron blinked suddenly remembering where he was. 

“ Are you back with us?” Bee asked, Aaron, nodded feeling too tired for words. 

“ What’s been going on, this only works if you talk to me,” Bee said, Aaron licked his dry lips “It’s nothing” 

“ Cut the bullshit” Andrew snapped, Aaron tensed his jaw, his annoyance at Andrew seeping in “it  _ is _ nothing, just grades and stuff,” Aaron said muttering the last part. 

“ Are you worried about grades?, then we can start looking for tutors an- “, “No” Aaron cut off. “ They don't work” 

Bee furrowed her eyebrows slightly, “I reckon we can find one that-” “No we can’t” Aaron cut her off again. 

“ Hmm” Bee hummed, “why not?”, “Because my grades are already high” Aaron snapped. 

Aaron let out a sigh, “well at least they think it’s high, tutors are good at getting a bad mark high not a high mark higher” 

“ Then if it’s already a high mark... Why is there so much tension over it”, “Because it’s not a high mark, well it kinda is but its also…not” Aaron responded 

Bee nodded, “I have a feeling there is something much deeper attached to this” she commented. 

“ When did you start caring about how high your grades were?” Bee asked, “Um, I don't remember I’ve always just cared about them” Aaron answered softly, wanting nothing more than to leave this room and cuddle up in Kevin’s arms.

“ Alright, why did you care about your grades when you were little? Was there a particular reason?” Bee asked. Aaron bit his lip lightly, “Mom…got mad” 

Bee proceeded to write something down on her notepad, “Why the fuck would she care about your grades” Andrews’s sharp voice came. 

Aaron knew that Andrew still thought of his mom as just some alcoholic drug addict, who occasionally beat him. He still thought of her as someone who couldn’t give two fucks about her child and their grades or wellbeing. 

The truth was Tilda did care, she cared a bit too much but not for the right reason. “ Mom cared about everything I did, she wanted me to follow in her footsteps and be a nurse she liked bragging to the other moms about it” 

“ So she wanted to control you,” Andrew said, Aaron didn’t respond, because Andrew was right Tilda craved complete control over everything. 

“ I think that’s enough for today, it’s a heavy topic we shouldn’t go all in today,” Bee said, as soon as those words left her mouth Aaron made his way out. 

_____

Aaron didn’t bother going to his dorm, he knocked at Kevin’s door and hoped no one else was there. 

Kevin opened the door, before he could even say anything Aaron wrapped his arms around him hiding his face in Kevin’s chest. 

“ Aaron?, are you okay,” Kevin said worriedly, Aaron sighed “I am now”. 

“ Want to watch a movie?,” Kevin asked placing a kiss at the top of Aaron’s head

“ Yes” Aaron answered, letting Kevin’s voice and warmth comfort him 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW// Mention of Kevin having a bad relationship with food
> 
> I don't really know if this needs a TW, but I'm going to put one there just in case

The house in Columbia was quiet, Andrew, Nicky and Neil went on a grocery trip leaving Aaron and Kevin behind. Aaron was wrapped up in Kevin’s arm on the couch, they were watching some historical documentary Aaron didn’t know what it was about, but Kevin seemed to enjoy it. 

Aaron pressed his face in the nook of Kevin’s neck, Aaron slightly nibbled on Kevin’s neck, it wasn’t his fault how was he supposed to focus on the movie when Kevin was right next to him looking as good as ever. 

“ Aaron,” Kevin said his name softly his voice strained, Aaron kept sucking and licking his neck desperate to get his attention. Aaron’s hand went under Kevin’s shirt to feel his hard abs. 

Kevin suddenly pushed Aaron until he was lying flat on the couch and hovered over him, the movie completely forgotten. 

Aaron reached his hand up to grab the collar of his shirt and pull him down for a heated kiss, Kevin pulled back first, “They’re probably on their way back now”. 

Aaron let out a sigh pulling Kevin down for another kiss before sitting back up making his way to the opposite side of the couch, pulling a blanket across him and Kevin. 

As expected they could hear footsteps outside the porch, making the arrival of Nicky, Neil and Andrew known. 

“ I'm back” Nicky sang way too loudly, Andrew and Neil walked in beside him putting the bags with them on the ground. 

Suddenly Nicky let out a giant over the top gasp “Kevin day is that a  _ hickey” _ . 

Kevin tensed but then rolled his eyes at Nicky not bothering to respond. “ Who was it! Did Thea come to visit” Nicky questioned

_ Thea,  _ Aaron had completely forgotten her existence. Anxious thoughts filled Aaron to the brim, was Kevin still with Thea? No Kevin wouldn’t cheat, maybe they were in an open relationship? Was Kevin just with him for sex?

Kevin suddenly grabbed his hand under the sheets, almost as if her could sense Aaron’s thoughts. It wasn’t enough to get Aaron’s thoughts to disappear, but with Kevin’s hand gripping his tightly it acted as an anchor, slowly making Aaron less tense. 

“ What did you get from the grocery store, better not be something unhealthy,” Kevin said, probably trying to get Nicky’s attention off his neck. 

Aaron squeezed Kevin’s hand tightly before letting go and making his way up to his room. “ Hey, where are you going!” Nicky questioned. 

“ Studying” Aaron replied, “You haven’t eaten lunch yet, there are leftovers in the fridge,” Nicky said his motherly side popping up. 

Aaron felt something whip at his head as he was walking, “Fuck” he swore more out of surprise than pain, he turned around to see a granola bar laying on the ground and Andrew sitting on the table with his back already turned. 

Not knowing what to say Aaron picked up the granola bar and make his way back to his room. 

___________________

While in the middle of a study session Aaron’s phone let out a loud beep, he glanced at it to see it was Kevin. He opened the message. 

( 4:37)  **Kevin**

_ I know what your thinking  _

_ Thea and I aren’t together, she was a bit too obsessed with the Ravens, anyway, it just didn’t work out  _

_ Im not with anyone else  _

_ I only like you _

Aarons read the message over and over again his eyes focusing on those four simple words  _ I only like you. _

Aaron took a deep breath before responding.

( 4: 40)  **Aaron**

_ Oh  _

_ Im sry I didn’t mean to assume  _

_ I only like you too. _

Aaron’s phone suddenly started ringing, he fumbled it in his hand out of shock before answering. He heard Kevin’s familiar voice, “ Wanna get out of here” 

“ Always, but where would we even go?” Aaron questioned

“We could go get frozen yogurt,” Kevin said, “ I'm sorry Kevin Day health extraordinaire wants to get frozen yogurt” Aaron snorted 

Aaron could practically see Kevins blush even if they were on the phone, “ Well it’s better than the pack of ice cream Andrew got besides you’ve been busy lately and you said you like frozen yogurt “ Kevin murmured 

Aaron’s heart picked up and he could feel a blush coming on his face, “ You remembered?”, “ Of course I did dumbass” Kevin replied 

“ I’ve never actually eaten frozen yogurt,” Kevin said, “ You haven’t eaten frozen yogurt! Aaron replied 

“ Ah well the Ravens were strict about our diets, I’m only going because I want you to eat it Im not gonna get any” Kevin said softly he could tell Kevin didn’t want to have this conversation 

“You're not gonna have any”? , “ No it's too unhealthy,'' Kevin stated. “ Hey I’m in pre-med remember, a frozen yogurt here and there isn’t gonna do anything, everything’s good in moderation,” Aaron said. 

Aaron knew Kevin had issues with eating sugary and food with a lot of carbs and fat. Knowing Kevin was having a hard time with something pained him in a way he had never felt before. 

“ Tell you this, I can get one frozen yogurt, and we can share it,” Aaron said, “I would like that “Kevin responded softly. 

“ Oh wait how are we going to go get frozen yogurt it’s too far away to walk and someone in the house might notice us go” 

“ About that, I may have a solution,” Kevin said and Aaron could hear the smile on his face, “Nicky is on a call with Erik, and they probably won't be done anytime soon and both Andrew and Neil are locked up in their room”.

“ That's good, but we still can't walk there it's too far, and I don't think there are any busses that go by that street,” Aaron said 

“ I'm not finished yet “ Kevin replied, “ Andrew left his car keys on the table”. Aaron left out a little laugh, “you wanna steal Andrew’s car he’s gonna kill us”, “ No he won’t, he would kill anyone else who does it...but he wouldn’t kill you Aaron” Kevin replied, “besides he won’t ever find out”

“ Okay, but what if he sees us both in the car...would he not think we’re together?” Aaron asked quietly. 

“ Aaron I promise he’s not gonna see both of us in the car and immediately assume that I'm fucking you,” Kevin said bluntly. 

Aaron’s face felt red as it usually did wherever he was speaking to Kevin, "Alright he said let’s go steal my brother’s car” with a small smile. 

  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
